


Making Up For A Lost Lifetime

by kiokushitaka



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Awkwardness, Begging, Blow Jobs, Boyfriends, Cheese, Coming Out, Conventions, Cosplay, Dating, Dildos, Dirty Talk, Docking, Enthusiastic Consent, Eren Has Terrible Texting Shorthand, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff, Foreskin Play, Frottage, Gen, Humor, Levi's Canon Surname Is Mentioned, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Making Out, Masturbation, Non-Binary Hange Zoë, POV Third Person, Plot, Porn With Plot, Reincarnation, Rough Sex, Schmoop, Sexting, Sexual Fantasy, Shameless Smut, Skype, Slice of Life, Spoilers For Chapter 56, Uncircumcised Penis, Webcam/Video Chat Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-22
Updated: 2014-04-22
Packaged: 2018-01-20 11:12:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1508405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiokushitaka/pseuds/kiokushitaka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Since he was a child, Eren remembered his previous life... but no one else around him did. Armin suggests that Eren go with him to a convention dressed as one of the soldiers from his memories; that maybe this way he could find someone else who remembers the past as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Making Up For A Lost Lifetime

**Author's Note:**

> [There was a prompt on tumblr](http://captainsteacup.tumblr.com/post/63856680926/reincarnation-au-where-eren-remembers-his-past) for a reincarnation au where Eren and Levi meet while cosplaying their uniforms... I originally wrote a shorter drabble for the same prompt, but decided to revisit the idea and this happened. 
> 
> **IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE LATEST MANGA CHAPTERS OF SNK, PLEASE BE AWARE THAT I DO USE LEVI'S CANON SURNAME IN THE FIC.** You've been warned. 
> 
> Super big thanks to [MiscellaneousShenanigans](http://archiveofourown.org/users/MiscellaneousShenanigans/pseuds/MiscellaneousShenanigans) for helping me beta this beast. 
> 
> This is the longest one-shot I've ever written, I'm pretty sure. I try my hand at writing non-binary Hanji as well as a few other "firsts" for me. c:
> 
>  **update** 2/24/15; looked this beast back over and decided that it could use some work. have revised portions of the story, i think my characterization of eren is a lot better now. huge thanks to [khimairan](http://archiveofourown.org/users/khimairan) for helping me revise this work.

It was easier when he was young. Back then, it was imagination. Back then, it was normal for a little boy to climb as high as possible in the trees and leap from the top branches, screaming “I’ll kill all the titans!” at the top of his lungs. It was just harmless make believe then… but for some reason, after he reached a certain age, it wasn’t ‘cute anymore’ and he needed to ‘act his age.’ Eren Jaeger could pinpoint exactly where in his life his memories of the past life became a shameful thing he couldn’t even talk about with his friends or family because they didn’t remember like he did. They didn’t believe him when he claimed to have been there in the annals of a history long forgotten. Armin was one of the only ones who seemed interested, but Eren could tell that the blond didn’t truly believe him when he said he remembered actually _being there_.

When he was twelve, his father had yelled at him and threatened to ship him off to a mental ward if he didn’t stop talking childish nonsense. _But I’m not crazy,_ he’d thought angrily. _There’s nothing wrong with me, I just remember the past._

No one else knew, no one else understood. Because of these circumstances, Eren became even more broody and distant towards most people. He still attempted to maintain some semblance of being okay for the sake of Armin and Mikasa—his dearest friends—but it was hard feeling so alone. It was hard being the only person who remembered a world full of pain, death, and sorrow… where his mother had been ripped from him and his father had apparently abandoned him—he wasn’t totally sure, he couldn’t remember _everything_ —where it was completely normal for children as young as twelve to join the military force and train themselves to give their lives to the crown by fifteen; granted, that was still true in some parts of this world, but Eren’s memories spoke of a place where humanity’s reach was limited to a life inside thick walls several meters tall. He remembered his yearning of visiting the outside world, and how the Armin of that time had shown him contraband books that spoke of oceans and deserts and jungles, only making him pine for the outside world more.

Well, the current Armin still wanted to travel the world, so that hadn’t changed.

He remembered Mikasa’s parents being slaughtered by evil men—men who he’d killed in at the tender age of nine to protect a girl he had never met up until that point; a girl who discovered her inner strength at such a trying time and ended up saving him from a third assailant he had been unaware of. She’d save him many more times after that, most of which he’d be begrudging to admit. Luckily, the Mikasa of this time didn’t have such tragic circumstances; her parents were alive and well, and she even had a little brother… but she still latched onto Eren. _Some things just never change no matter the lifetime_ , Eren had mused. She’d always be like a sister to him. Mikasa had encountered Eren in elementary school where he was often bullied for being standoffish and blunt, and assumed like many others that he was just a strange kid—true his claims that he had once fought titans didn’t help matters and only made the bullies target him all the more, but when she’d been on the receiving end of the taunts and jeers Eren stood up for her and punched one kid in the gut, another in the face. When the first got back up and lunged at Eren, Mikasa returned his selfless act and tripped the kid before he hit Eren.

“At least this time, no one had to die.” Had been the last thing the strange little boy with messy brown hair had said before they were taken to the principal’s office. _What a weird boy_ , she’d thought. She decided that someone that odd needed to be looked after, and had been at his side ever since.

They’d go to the ocean at least once a year, and Eren would cry. If anyone asked, he’d say because the sea was so beautiful. He remembered wanting to see it so badly every single time and he was thankful at times like that that he _did_ remember. It made him cherish this world all the more.

Eren supposed this was how fate worked… but it was still hard to deal with keeping the memories to himself. If only someone remembered like he did. Oftentimes, Eren would find himself sketching things from his nightmares—his _memories_ —horrific titans with gaping maws lined with too many teeth or that appeared to be bare muscles with no skin, their anatomy skewed in subtle ways to make the viewer feel uneasy—limbs that were too long or too thin to be logically viable. He had sketchbooks full of detailed drawings of the uniforms he saw—knee high boots, cloaks with insignias, crop jackets and complicated looking harnesses for some strange, almost-steampunk contraption he said was called a ‘three-dimensional maneuver gear.’

“You know, Eren…” Armin said one day, “You should write a book or something about these things you think up.” He’d been looking through Eren’s sketches again.

“They’re not—” Eren sighed, “They’re not just things I invented. They’re _memories_.”

“Right, sorry.” Armin replied in a tone that grated on Eren’s nerves; a tone that said he wasn’t being taken seriously. He let out an exasperated sigh.

“Whatever. I guess I could. I don’t know. Maybe then I’d find someone else who remembers.” And that little seed planted itself in Eren’s mind. That maybe—maybe somewhere out there—was someone else. Maybe it’d be Hange or Mike or Erwin or… the list went on with possibilities of people he had yet to meet in this life.

The topic came back up a few times over the years, Armin trying to encourage Eren to do something with these ideas of his.

“What if—” Armin started enthusiastically one day at lunch, “—you _make_ one of those uniforms? They look really nice and we could go to a convention together… and who knows, you might find the person you’re looking for.”

“That’s not a bad idea, actually… but technically I’ve found quite a lot of the people from my memories.” Eren pointed out between bites of his sandwich, “They just don’t remember like I do.”

“Yeah yeah, I know. That’s what I mean. Maybe you’ll find someone who _does._ ”

“Why’re you suggesting this? What’s in it for you?” Eren narrowed his eyes. Armin didn’t actually believe he remembered, and Eren knew he could be extremely cunning when he wanted something.

“Gramps won’t let me go to the convention alone.” Armin admitted, “But I swear I’m not just using you. I just think out of you and Mikasa, this is something you’d enjoy more.”

“You should just say that, then. Don’t act like you don’t think I’m crazy.”

“We’ve been over this, Eren. I _don’t_ think you’re crazy.” Armin’s smile was tense. “Anyway, what do you think? I’ll help you with sewing and stuff if you want.”

“Sure, I guess. Is it expensive?”

“Since I hurt your feelings—again—I’ll pay for your ticket. Don’t worry about it.”

“You don’t have to—”

“ _I insist._ ”

* * *

The convention was a little under six months away, and Eren couldn’t deny he was pretty excited. It was a fairly large convention, so he hoped that maybe what Armin said was possible—meeting someone who shared his memories. He wondered who it would be, if anyone… someone from the training squad, perhaps? Or the Survey Corps? He wouldn’t even mind if it turned out to be someone from the Military Police, but… maybe it’d be better if it wasn’t.

As the weeks passed, Armin did as he said he would, helping Eren with sewing the costume; there was a lot of rummaging through fabric bins at shops to find the right colors and styles of cloth and patterns that could be feasibly altered to work for what they needed—Eren even took to the internet to pick up tips on drafting his own patterns. As it began to come together, the excitement really started to build up. Lacking the necessary funds and know-how meant that his three dimensional maneuver gear wasn’t fully functional, but just having the look of it was enough for Eren to really feel like a soldier again… even if titans didn’t exist anymore.

“It’s really coming together!” Armin exclaimed as he helped his friend into the outfit to make sure the harness looked right. He hovered around Eren, looking for any issues that needed fixing, pinning things here and there to make adjustments.

“Good thing, too. The con’s just around the corner, yeah?”

“Yup. Eren, I… I hope you have fun even if you don’t find someone who shares your memories.” Armin’s voice turned softer, “I mean it. Don’t… don’t stake everything on whether you find someone or not; try to have fun regardless, ok?”

Eren smiled, “Alright. I’ll do my best.”

* * *

The big day had finally arrived. Eren stood in front of the mirror adjusting his cloak and his harness, making sure everything was perfectly in place. He tugged on the crop jacket, trying to straighten the lapels and took in deep breaths as he mentally prepared himself. Hopefully this would work; hopefully he’d find someone—and even if he didn’t, he was still determined to have a good time.

Two short taps of a car horn outside told him Armin was there and he took one last look over himself, smoothing down his hair and straightening his maneuver gear a final time before practically bounding down the stairs. His mother stopped him at the door, pinching his cheeks and wishing him well.

“Have fun, dear… and be careful.”

“Aw, jeez mom!” Eren whined, but he relished he feeling; he knew all too well the pain of losing her and had made it a priority to always cherish everything she did for him. Carla planted a kiss on his forehead and ushered him out the door.

“Say hello to Armin for me!” Carla called after him. He waved, and climbed into Armin’s minivan after loading his props into the back.

“Mom says ‘hi.’” Eren passed the greeting along with a grin. Armin was wearing his own costume, from a videogame Eren wasn’t familiar with—he’d never had the patience to enjoy grid-based strategy tactics style games—but it suited Armin perfectly; he looked like some sort of knight or warrior— Armin would have to remind Eren several times that he was dressed as Marche Radiuju from _Final Fantasy Tactics Advance._ “Let’s get this show on the road, yeah?”

Armin grinned back, “Yeah!”

It was roughly a forty-five minute drive to the convention center from Eren’s house—more if there was traffic—and he didn’t know about Armin, but he felt restless the entire time. Even so, Eren reiterated to himself to enjoy it no matter what did or didn’t happen; he told himself that he couldn’t let his enjoyment of this rely solely on whether he met someone from his previous life who remembered him as well, though it was difficult. Once they got there and parked—Armin had had the sense to plan an early departure so they could find a good parking space—they got out of the van and Eren attached his props, fussing over the way the boxes hung at his hips.

“They’re so light since they’re not functional.” He muttered absently, wiggling his hips a bit to make sure they were secure. Then he used one of the windows as a mirror, smoothing down his hair again and adjusting his cloak.

“You look great, Eren.” Armin reassured him, one hand on his shoulder. “I’m sure that people will love your costume, even if they don’t know its origin.”

“Yeah, but here’s hoping at least someone does.”

“Okay, but don’t forget what I said before.” Armin’s tone shifted to slight chastisement.

“Yeah, yeah… not to get my hopes up too high.”

“I didn’t say it like _that._ ” He retorted with a huff, shooting a pout at Eren.

“You didn’t, but it’s basically the same idea. Don’t worry. I’ll have fun no matter what.”

* * *

The mismatched pair wandered through the crowded convention halls, Eren careful not to damage his props as he followed an enthusiastic Armin from panel to event to dealer’s room and onward. Despite not being from any sort of established series or comic, people did comment on his costume and gave him compliments, ranging from ‘ _oh that’s a pretty cool steampunk thing_ ’ to ‘ _I don’t know what you’re dressed as, but it looks pretty cool!_ ’ and he did get asked for a photo every so often; Armin was also getting a lot of praise and photo requests and Eren had to admit, that was pretty fun in and of itself.

“I’m going to hit the gaming rooms.” Armin said, “Want to meet back in the lobby in a few hours? This way you can get a feel for the con without me leading you around.”

“Ok, sure.” Eren said, slightly unsure of if he really wanted to wander the crowd alone.

“You’ll be okay. Trust my judgment.”

“I always have.” Eren finally admitted, exhaling and offering Armin a proper salute—offering up his heart. Armin shook his head dismissively and returned the salute, albeit sloppily and with the wrong hands… but Eren knew better than to correct him. _This Armin doesn’t remember_ , he reminded himself.

Left to his own devices, he decided to amble towards the main lobby as he leafed through the program for something that might catch his interest. It was at that moment that he was somewhat distracted—he really should have known better—that he collided with something, or rather, _someone._

“Oop! Hey kid you should watch where you’re going!” came a familiar voice. Eren’s head snapped up and he immediately recognized Hange, even though they were dressed as… something. He wasn’t really sure what Hange was dressed as, but they were wearing a lab coat and a pair of huge bolts attached on either side of their head, crude stitch patters similar to Frankenstein’s monster drawn on with make-up in various places and a large, yellow button on the coat’s lapel that read **_ASK ME ABOUT MY PRONOUNS_** in bold print. He caught himself staring, mouth agape and coughed.

“S-sorry, I didn’t mean—have we met?” He asked, having decided that it was probably the safest way to test if someone remembered the previous life or not.

“Er, I’m dressed as _Franken Fran_ , if that’s what you mean.” Hange gave Eren a once over before practically bouncing up and down and crowing, “Ooh, you’re dressed the same as my friend! You’ve _gotta_ tell me where the outfit’s from, he refuses to tell me!”

Well, it was safe to assume they didn’t remember, however…

“Your friend is—you mean someone else knows about this… series?, I’m Eren.” He offered a hand.

“Hange.” They shook Eren’s hand, “Pleased to meet you! My friend—his name is Levi—suddenly got interested in coming to this convention with me when I told him you could dress up as whatever you wanted. His costume almost looks the same as yours, it’s _uncanny_!”

“Levi…” Eren repeated dumbly, his mind filling with memories of his superior officer and something else—an ache, a longing… it was like some metaphorical dam had burst. He suddenly remembered how much he had idolized Levi and how his simple, fanboyish adoration had gradually shifted during his tenure towards something else as he got to know the officer, something more intimate. He remembered wanting Levi in ways he didn’t fully understand at the time, ways that he definitely understood now, “C-can I meet him?”

“Well, I can take you to him, but I can’t promise he’ll be willing to talk to you. He’s kind of a bit of a porcupine, if you know what I mean.”

“Huh?”

“Small and covered in painful quills—I’m basically saying he’s a dick.” _Some things never changed, no matter the lifetime,_ Eren found himself musing once more.

“Oh, ah… Hange? Mind if I ask… about your pronouns?”

“Why, color me shocked! I didn’t expect someone I’d just met to be so observant.”

Eren pointed at the button.

“Ah, silly me! I forgot I was wearing that. You’d be surprised how many people haven’t brought it up, though. Anyway! ‘They,’ ‘their.’ Mind if I ask about yours?”

“Oh, um. ‘He,’ ‘him,’ I guess.” Eren replied with a shrug. He’d never really given gender any thought.

“Cool beans. Let’s be good friends, okay Eren?” Hange winked, then pulled out their phone and fiddled with it for a moment, “Aaaaand Levi’s been texted. Let’s see what he says about meeting up.”

The next few moments felt like a small eternity as he and Hange waited for a response. During their exchange of pleasantries, they’d since edged over to the side of the hall so as not to impede anyone, and Eren found himself drumming his fingers restlessly against the wall. Finally, the phone’s text tone sounded off and Hange read the reply aloud, in a fairly decent imitation of what Eren remembered Levi’s voice to be like, “He said, ‘Sure, I’ll meet the shitty brat. I’m at the bar.’”

“Er, a bar?” Eren swallowed, “I’m—”

“Under twenty-one? Don’t worry. It’s also a restaurant.” 

* * *

Hange weaved through the crowd like a pro, and Eren was surprised he was able to keep up with them all while managing not to destroy his props in the process. Eventually, they both made it to the restaurant where Hange said Levi was waiting for them and Eren began to search the patrons, beginning with the ones sitting on barstools.

“Hey.” The voice came from behind him and Eren whirled around to face him, reflexively saluting with a cry of ‘sir!’ as he did so. Hange clapped their hands and commented something about how committed to being in character Eren must’ve been as Levi’s eyes widened slightly and he gave Eren a once over. “It’s _you_ …” he near-whispered. Eren swallowed. Levi looked exactly like he did in Eren’s memories, complete with cravat and undercut.

“Sir?”

“At ease. You remember, don’t you?” Levi replied softly, “You remember _everything,_ don’t you?” Eren stopped saluting and stood with his hands at his sides nervously.

“Yeah… well, almost everything. My memories get a little hazy around the time the Commander lost his arm.”

“Mine, too.” Levi gestured towards a table and addressed both him and Hange, “Anyway, you losers can sit down any time.” Hange sat on one side and Eren on the other, after taking off his props and placing them carefully in the empty chair beside him. Levi sat down in the chair next to Hange, and continued to nurse the drink he’d been holding the entire time. They ended up ordering some appetizers to munch on while they chatted.

“So, how’s… life?” Levi asked, taking another sip of his amaretto sour; this was his second one since Eren had gotten there.

“I just graduated from high school… thinking about going to college. Or joining the military.”

“You _would_.”

“Hey, am I missing something?” Hange finally spoke up, “You two are acting like you’ve known each other for years, what’s up with that?”

“Oh, um…”

“Turns out we’re friends. Online.” Levi answered nonchalantly. Eren nodded in agreement, thankful that he was still so quick on his feet, so to speak.

“Oh! Wow, what a coincidence, then!” Hange clapped their hands. “Hey, I think I’m gonna wander the con a bit more… I feel a little like a fifth wheel. I’ll let you two catch up. Call me if you need me, otherwise I’ll see you in the room.” They said as they got up to leave. “Eren, it was very nice meeting you and I’m actually glad you bumped into me in the end!” They held a hand and Eren shook it, smiling back.

“Me too. I mean, I’m sorry I crashed into you, but it turned out to be pretty lucky!” As soon as Hange had disappeared, Eren turned to Levi and asked, “Did you have to travel far?”

“Nah, it was about a two-and-a-half hour drive. We live in the state next door.”

“So close all this time…” Eren mumbled. “Shit! I should tell Armin where I am…”

“Oh, your blond friend with the mushroom haircut? He’s here too?”

“Mushroo— _what?_ Yeah, we’re best friends just like back then… he doesn’t remember, though. Neither does Mikasa. Actually, you’re the first person I’ve found that does. Sasha, Connie, Historia and Ymir all go to my school… and they’re the same people they were, personality-wise… they just don’t remember anything.”

“Erwin’s in one of my courses, but he doesn’t remember either. It’s… nice to see him with both arms intact, though.” Levi commented, swirling the remnants of his drink in its glass as Eren pulled his phone out and sent Armin a text.

“I’ll bet it is. Maybe it’s better that they don’t remember.”

“Probably. It’s pretty fucking lonely being the only one, though.” Levi admitted. “I sometimes have nightmares about it and it takes me a moment to remember that that was then and this is now.”

They talked for fifteen minutes or so when Eren’s phone went off with a reply from Armin. “He said he’ll text me later when it’s time to go.” Eren said, “He’s giving me time to get to know you.” He laughed.

“I have to say, I’m glad I decided to come to this thing after all.” Levi commented, absently running a finger around the rim of his glass.

“Me too, honestly… I didn’t expect _you_ to be here, but I’m really glad you are.”

“You’re completely the Eren Jaeger I remember.” Levi said, “From the top of your messy-ass hair to your diligently shined boots.”

“I see your language hasn’t gotten any less filthy,” Eren chuckled .

“You should hear how much filthier it can get.” Levi said, shooting Eren a smirk. He swallowed hard; was Levi… _flirting_ with him?

“Um… sir?”

“Okay it was cute at first, but you can fucking stop. I’m only 28, calling me ‘sir’ just makes me feel old.”

“Sorry, old habits die hard…”

“Murder this one, then. Just call me ‘Levi.’”  He sighed, downing more of his drink. “If I recall, you were pretty much my biggest fan.”

Well, he wasn’t _wrong_. “I—you _noticed_?”

“Yeah, I knew,” Levi said with a soft, rueful laugh and a swallow of his drink.

“You were Humanity’s Strongest, and here I was, some kid from Shiganshina who just wanted to go outside. Can you really blame me?” Eren couldn’t deny that he was an odd mixture of relieved and disappointed that Levi hadn’t picked up on his attraction. Maybe Levi hadn’t been flirting after all, just making an incredibly awkward joke. It certainly wouldn’t have been beyond him.

 “Not at all.” Levi took another sip of his drink. “Though you could have picked a better role model, probably.”

“Why, because you started out as a thug? Because you weren’t conventionally attractive or well-spoken? You _were_ the Wings of Freedom… at least to me.” Eren admitted, “That’s what I said the first time we met face-to-face, right before I blacked out.” 

“Wait a sec, did you just kinda call me attractive?” Levi paused for a moment, “Or have I just had too many drinks and my wishful thinking is kicking in?”

“Wishful thinking…?” Eren repeated, furrowing his brow as he cocked his head slightly.

“If the cat ain’t out of the bag, then I suppose I may as well let it out; I… kinda had a totally unprofessional crush on you.” Levi said with a shrug, “There was a strict policy against fraternization, though… so I never said anything.”

“Seriously?” Eren wanted to pinch himself to make sure this wasn’t a dream; lord knew he had some realistic ones, though they were usually filled with death and destruction. Absently, he bit the side of his thumb and winced at the pain.

“As you can see, this isn’t a dream.” Levi laughed, “You just bit your hand like you used to, holy shit.”

“Old habits. I bet you’re still a clean freak.”

“You can bet your fucking ass I am. Hange’s still a slob, too. It’s hell living with them… but I manage.”

“Heh… what’re the odds? Both of us crushing on each other...” Eren said with a shake of his head.

Levi perked up, “Hold on, what’d you just say?”

“What do you think I just said?” Eren asked, a light blush coloring his cheeks.

“I just wanna make sure I’m not just hearing what I want to hear, but I _think_ you just said you had a crush on me, too.” Levi drummed his fingers on the tabletop absently.

“You heard right,” Eren laughed softly, “C’mon, you can’t be _that_ surprised. It was so fucking obvious.” 

“Yeah, ‘cause we had time to think about shit like that, then.” Levi replied dryly as he folded his hands on the table, “So, now that we _do_ have time for it, wanna do something about it?”

“Are you asking me out?” Eren said the words carefully, still not believing this was really happening.

Now it was Levi’s turn to look somewhat flustered.“Yeah, so hurry up and answer.”

“This is unreal,” Eren replied, tapping his fingers on the table awkwardly. Levi looked off into space, almost like he was avoiding looking at Eren, a slight tint to his cheeks and Eren wasn’t sure if it was from embarrassment or the alcohol—at this point, Levi was on his fourth drink, so he was willing to bet it was the drink. Eren poked absently at the leftover garnish on the plate the appetizers had been on. “I’m still shocked that you–formerly humanity’s strongest soldier–had a thing for me.

“If you’re gonna throw our old titles around, then let me remind you that you were Humanity’s Hope.”

“Well, yeah but you–”

“Took my title from Mike when Erwin decided I was as skilled as an entire brigade,” Levi pointed out, “Just like he decided you were our hope. The point is, and I’m sure you’ve had to remind yourself from time to time, that that was then and this is now and if there’s a possibility that you’re into me the same way I’m into you, well. I’m gonna go out on a limb; do you wanna go out with me?”

“Yeah. I do. I can’t believe–this is happening so fucking fast–I mean I didn’t even expect to ever–” Eren’s mind was a flurry of thoughts, most of them overjoyed or incredulous and it was difficult to be coherent at the moment.

“So, uh… wanna go make out or something?” Levi asked, still making it a point not to make eye-contact with him. “If that’s not moving _too_ fast or whatever... I mean, we pretty much already know each other and I’ve been dying to taste your lips since back then.”

“You have..?” Eren felt his stomach drop for a loop, warm and strange and _good_. “Let’s… let’s go to your room and we’ll take it from there, yeah?” Eren flashed a smile. Oh, he wanted nothing more than to be pinned—or even be the one doing the pinning—against a wall or a bed, their lips pressed together and their hands pressing soft caresses as they ran up and down… but he didn’t want to seem _too_ eager, for whatever reason.

Eren followed Levi to the hotel room he was sharing with Hange, and noticed with mild amusement that it was room number 104. His heart began to hammer in his chest as he watched Levi slide the keycard into the lock and the indicator light flashed green before he pushed the door open, holding it with his foot as motioned for the brunet to enter. Once they were inside, Eren looked around the room and could immediately tell which side was Levi’s and which side was Hange’s simply by the clutter.

“It’s been less than twenty-four hours and they’ve already wrecked their side of the room—Hange truly is incredible.” Levi sighed, shaking his head as he removed his props, cloak and crop jacket, placing them neatly next to his suitcase. Eren followed suit, his motions slightly apprehensive as he did so.

“How do you wanna, um… do this?” Eren asked, fidgeting. Levi cocked his head to one side, a small smirk playing on his lips and he slowly undid his cravat and added it to the neatly folded stack of clothes.

“Is this your first time doing anything?” Levi asked, closing the distance between them, hands reaching out to grasp the younger man’s as he pulled him closer, looking up into those stunning sea-green eyes. Eren’s face contorted into an indignant pout.

“I’ve experimented.”

“Have you, now?” Their faces were close and Eren felt pin pricks on the back of his neck. “What kinds of stuff?”

“I—well—when we were younger Armin wanted to know what kissing was like, so…” Eren shrugged. “And I’ve done, er—solo stuff.”

“So you jerk off— that’s hardly anything to be ashamed of, brat.” Levi’s tone was low and teasing and made Eren’s heart do a weird thing he couldn’t quite describe.

“I’m _not_ ashamed. It’s just weird saying this crap out loud.” Eren’s hands restlessly toyed with his costume, “I like putting my fingers in my ass.”

“Oh.” Levi’s voice was a soft whisper, “Not bad…”

“But I’ve never done anything with another person.”

“Listen up, kid. I’m not gonna force you into anything, so we can go as slowly as you want.” Levi rested his hands on Eren’s hips, “It’s not like we’re in a hurry. I’ve waited this long—I can wait a bit more until you’re ready.” A wave of relief washed over Eren at these words and he suddenly felt less tense. He smiled down at Levi, hoping to convey how grateful he was of the man’s patience. “In any case, I’m going to kiss you now.” Levi whispered, reaching up to angle Eren’s face downwards, “If that’s okay?”

Eren responded by closing the inches between them, pressing his lips against Levi’s—somewhat hesitantly at first, but with gradually increasing confidence. Levi’s lips were surprisingly soft and Eren never wanted to forget how they felt. He tentatively licked Levi’s bottom lip and he opened his mouth to him, a soft whine edging out as his fingers pressed into Eren’s hips possessively, pulling his body closer. Their kisses started out soft, almost teasing but eventually became sloppier, more urgent and Eren began to trail a line of them down Levi’s jaw.

“Eren— let’s—on the bed—”Levi gasped, rather enjoying how he had basically taken charge; he’d always known Eren tended to go with his instincts. Eren obliged his request, maneuvering them towards the bed and pushing Levi down onto it before crawling over him again, but paused, gazing down at the man beneath him for a moment.

“I’m… glad it was you.” He murmured, one hand gently stroking Levi’s flushed cheeks. At this, Levi reached up and pulled Eren down by the front of his shirt, crushing their lips together fervently, his other hand resting on the small of his back, pulling his body down onto his so that they were pressed together as they continued to taste and explore each other.

* * *

They spent the rest of the convention together, a lot of the time in Levi and Hange’s hotel room—feverishly making out whenever Hange wasn’t there—but also enjoying what the convention had to offer. Eren suggested that, in order for Armin and Hange not to feel totally abandoned by them, they should all get together before Levi and Hange drove home the next day and at least have dinner. Everyone seemed to agree with this idea, and they found themselves sitting around a table at a local restaurant enjoying each other’s company and conversation.

“So, Eren tells me you’re a scientist?” Armin asked Hange, smiling pleasantly. “What sort of science?”

“Well, I’m studying biology, a concentration in diseases and pathogens. I’m really interested in the things that devour us from the inside out, you know?” They replied with more enthusiasm than was probably necessary, but Armin took it in stride.

“Wow, that sounds like it’d be fascinating, actually.”

“It is! I should send you some of my research papers… if you’d be interested in reading them.”

“Personally, I’m more interested in the political and social sciences—my dream is to travel the world and write about as many different cultures as I can,” the blond admitted, “But I’d still give it a look.”

“In the end, we’re both interested in humans—me, in what makes them sick and you in what makes them tick!” Hange said with a smile and Armin agreed.

“What are you studying, Levi?”

“World history, with a concentration in religious practices and traditions.”

“Wow, really? You didn’t strike me as the historian type.” Armin blurted, “Sorry, that was rude of me.”

“Nah, it’s alright. I’m not exactly …bookish.” Levi replied with a shrug, “I think most people think ‘historian,’ and imagine some old fucker with thick bifocals and tweed.”

They continued chatting about their interests and getting to know each other for the next couple of hours, Levi and Eren exchanging knowing looks and playing footsie under the table until it was time for Armin and Eren to make their way back home before it got too much later. They said their goodbyes in the parking lot, exchanging contact information and hugs—Eren stealing a kiss from Levi—before they went their separate ways.

“So, are you and Levi an item?” Armin asked, once he climbed into the driver’s side and started the engine.

“Yeah.” Eren answered, beaming.

“Isn’t that a little soon? You just met the guy.”

“Well, not really. He remembers the past life too.” Eren reminded his friend, his fingers playing absently with a loose thread on his jeans.

“Oh, you two were lovers? I’m surprised there was time for that with what you’ve told me of your… memories.” Armin said inquisitively.

“Well, we weren’t _exactly_ lovers—but I had a crush on him. Apparently, he felt the same way, but never acted on it because of the strict rules in the corps against fraternization with subordinates.” He explained.

“Oh, I see.” There was a long pause, and then Armin added, “How do you think Mikasa will react when she finds out your boyfriend is ten years older than you?”

Eren buried his face in his hands, “I don’t want to think about it.” He mumbled. “Augh, it’s not like it matters what she thinks anyway! She’s not even my step-sister this time around.”

“For what it’s worth, I think Levi’s a pretty interesting guy. He seems nice enough, once you get past his brusque exterior.”

“Good, then you can tell her that when the time comes—she’ll listen to you.”

“If you say so.”

* * *

A few weeks passed since the convention, and Eren was definitely grateful that he lived in an age where electronic communication was prevalent because he didn’t think he could go a day without texting or Skyping with Levi. He’d even added the man on Facebook, though that had led to the awkward realization that Levi had really been under his nose all along… and that he didn’t need Armin’s help with Mikasa after all.

“You know my cousin?” Mikasa asked one day as they sat at the outside tables of a local ice cream shop enjoying their last real summer before full-fledged adulthood.

“Huh?” Eren asked, furrowing his brows in confusion, trying to think of what she was talking about.

“Levi. Levi Ackerman. He’s my uncle’s son.” Mikasa answered, “I didn’t know you knew him, but I saw that you added him on Facebook.”

“Oh, yeah… I met him at the convention with Armin, but I had no idea you two were related, otherwise I would have said something sooner.” Eren laughed, idly wondering how on earth he hadn’t noticed that his boyfriend and his childhood friend _had the same surname_ _until just now._ “Come to think of it, I’m surprised you didn’t know he was in town.”

“That side of the family’s… estranged.” She replied with a shrug. “Dad and his brother don’t exactly see eye to eye… and it’s not like Levi actually posts much of anything on his wall.”

“Oh, well Levi’s a pretty cool guy.”

“From the times I remember playing with him as a small child, I distinctly remember him being rather rude and obsessed with cleanliness… but surprisingly amused by poop humor in spite of that.”

“Yeah, no he’s still like that.” Eren was poking at his sundae with his spoon, pushing a cherry around in the mixture of melting ice cream and chocolate syrup, a dreamy expression on his face.

“What’s with that face ?”

“Nothing.” Eren tried to dodge, but Mikasa narrowed her eyes and fixed him with a piercing stare.

“Eren.” Was all she said.

“Alright… but please believe me—I had no idea you two were related, first off and I _planned_ on telling you—but Levi’s... I’m going out with him. As in, we’re boyfriends.” Eren’s voice steadily got quieter as he reached the end of that sentence, bracing himself for her reaction.

“Isn’t he a little old for you?” Her tone was calm, curious even. Eren silently thanked whatever gods existed that she hadn’t made a big deal about his sexuality—not that he was surprised. Mikasa had probably figured it out years ago.

“It’s only ten years’ difference. Besides, I’m eighteen, so it’s perfectly legal.” Eren shuffled his feet under the table as he spoke, stirring the mess his sundae had become.

“True enough.” Mikasa sighed, “You know you’re like a brother to me, right? If he so much as breaks your heart, I’ll kick his ass in a second, blood relation or not.”

* * *

Later that evening, Eren found himself texting Levi.

**_u didnt tell me u were relatd to mikasa_ **

He waited for Levi’s response, which didn’t take more than a few moments; his text tone went off and he read the reply.

**_You didn’t realize our surnames match?_ **

**_Btw your shorthand is still horrid._ **

A slight frown formed on his face as he tapped out his responses.

**_y would i theres lots of ackermans in th world_ **

**_& i didnt evn remember ur last name from before so_ **

**_well excuuuuse me prncess jfc u can bitch n moan all u want_ **

**_im not gonna chnge how i txt :p_ **

Levi’s replies made his phone go off before the screen had a chance to shut off.

**_It was Ackerman back then, too._ **

**_Not that I made it a point to tell anyone._ **

**_I’m gonna assume you have some shitty ass phone from years ago and haven’t figured out how to use T9 or something._ **

Eren let out a soft laugh at the final comment, another jab at his texting shorthand.

**_actually ive an iphone but autocrrct fcks up more than helps so I turnd it off_ **

Levi texted back,

**_A likely story._ **

**_In any case, I’ve been thinking of driving up this weekend unless you had plans?_ **

At that, Eren let out the most undignified sound and was thankful he was in his room with the door closed. He didn’t care that his response was probably the smarmiest thing he’d ever written; it was true.

**_um no plnas so drive up cuz I rly miss th feel of ur lips on mine._ **

Levi let a smile grace his lips at that response and he wondered if Eren had always been such a romantic and he just never noticed it under all of the unmitigated rage and determination he’d sported in their previous life… that had to have been it. It’s not like anyone had a _clue_ about his own feelings, then—he kept them hidden under so many layers of mystery and omissions… to an extent, he still did.

Levi and Eren spent the rest of the week planning how to make their little rendezvous work; Eren asking off from his part-time job and running it by his parents that he’d be hanging out with a friend and Levi getting permission from Hange to borrow the car they were sharing (technically it was his, but he still wanted to ask them in case they needed it for anything). Hange responded that they’d be fine—and if they really needed to go somewhere, they could always call Moblit.

“Go on and visit your little lover boy.” They added, with a wink. Levi rolled his eyes at ‘lover boy’ but wasn’t really able to suppress the smirk that formed anyway.

Friday rolled around and Levi was on the road, practically at dawn. He figured that if he started out early he could be with Eren by breakfast or brunch or something. The drive was boring, but relatively short—there wasn’t a lot of traffic at that hour—and it seemed like he was pulling into the driveway of the suburban townhouse where the Jaegers lived in record time. It hit him that Eren probably hadn’t told his parents—was he even out?—so Levi opted to play the friend card and hope for the best as he climbed the stairs and rang the doorbell.

The door opened to reveal a brunette with her hair in a loose, low ponytail swept to the side. Eren’s resemblance to her was uncanny, so Levi figured she had to have been his mother.

“Yes?” She asked, drying her hands on the apron she wore, giving him a once over. He’d decided on black skinny jeans and a tight-fitting grey tee with the logo for a rock band emblazoned on the front.

“I’m Eren’s friend, Levi.” Levi said, shoving his hands into his pockets, “Is he awake?”

“Oh! He mentioned that you’d be visiting this weekend. Come in, come in! You’re the friend he made at that thing with Armin a while back. I’ve heard a lot about you.” She ushered him inside, “He’s probably brushing his teeth—have you eaten?”

“Oh I—I’d hate to impose…”

“Nonsense! Pancakes are easy enough to make more of.” She laughed, leading him to the dining room table and offering him a seat. “Sit—how many pancakes would you like?”

“Three or four should be plenty.” He replied, still a little surprised by the insistent hospitality she offered.

“I’ll have them right out; Eren should be down in a moment.”

True to her word, Eren finally shambled into the dining room roughly five minutes later wearing only his boxers, hair sticking up oddly, one hand rubbing sleep from his eyes and the other scratching at his stomach. He didn’t even notice Levi sitting at the table at first.

“Who was at the door?” He asked, yawning.

“Who do you think?” Levi replied, far too amused with this.

“ _JESUS—_ When’d you get here?” Eren’s voice yelped, as he flinched; he frowned upon realizing he was walking around the house in his underwear.  Not because he was ashamed, but because his mom was bound to scold him for it.

“I said I’d be here as soon as I possibly could be, so here I am.” Levi replied with a shrug. “Didn’t expect to see this much skin yet, though…” He added in a hushed whisper, shooting Eren a quick suggestive look. Carla bustled out of the kitchen with a plateful of pancakes and put it down in front of Levi as she clicked her tongue at Eren’s appearance.

“Eren, go put some clothes on. Your friend’s here.”

“Yeah, I noticed.” Eren grumbled as he made his way back to his room to throw on some sweatpants and an A-shirt. When he returned he had his own plate of pancakes waiting for him, across from Levi, who was already digging in.

“You boys eat up.” Carla said, ruffling Eren’s hair as he passed him and disappeared down the hall. They ate in amicable silence, Eren slightly mortified that his mother still doted on him as though he were a child in front of Levi.

“She—she doesn’t realize I’m eighteen half the time.” Eren finally said, poking at the syrupy mess on his plate. “I don’t have the heart to tell her not to do it, though. For obvious reasons.”

“I’m not judging you,” Levi answered. “I told her I’m your friend though. I wasn’t sure if they… knew.”

“Er, yeah. Thanks. They don’t... I don’t think my mom would mind so much, but my dad…”

“Don’t sweat it. I more than understand. My old man has no idea I like cock; as far as I know, he thinks Hange’s a woman and that we’re together. Ah, the _joys_ of having intolerant parents.”

“Heh, yeah. At least our friends understand,” Eren pointed out. “Anyway—did you have anything in mind? For us to do, I mean. I was thinking we could maybe hit up some of the tourist spots or something.” ‘ _As kind of a date._ ’ He left the last part unspoken, but Levi picked up on it.

“What is there to do?” Levi replied with a shrug as he finished his breakfast.

They ended up going to the aquarium once Eren changed into a pair of jeans and a black shirt with screen printed wings on the back—and it was entertaining enough seeing the whale sharks and belugas and Japanese spider crabs as they walked through the different installations, their fingers entwined. Afterwards, they decided to grab a bite at a local restaurant, continuing to enjoy each other’s company.

“Do you need somewhere to stay?” Eren asked, leaning his cheek on his hand, “Because the couch in the living room folds out if you need it.”

“Nah, I’ll stop into a motel or something.”

“You sure? My parents wouldn’t mind. Probably.”

“They’d probably mind if they found me balls deep in your ass, though.” Levi pointed out nonchalantly.

“Who said you’d even get anywhere near my ass?” Eren quipped in response.

“Fine, _your_ cock shoved deep in _my_ ass, then. Whichever way it happens, the fact still stands that I’m pretty sure your parents wouldn’t want to walk in on that.”

“Is that what you wanted to happen during this weekend?” Eren’s voice was quiet, pensive.

“Not necessarily. I’d _love_ to, Jesus fucking Christ would I absolutely love to—don’t get me wrong—but I promised to wait until you were ready, so don’t worry. I was just teasing you.”

“Oh, ok. I’m sorry.”

“For what? It’s just my way of speaking—but I don’t mean to make you feel bad… and don’t think I’m trying to manipulate you into doing something you’re not ready to do, either. Okay?” Levi reached over and wrapped his fingers around Eren’s hand, squeezing it reassuringly. “Taking it slow has some nice upsides. I don’t want to rush you.”

“I’m really glad for it—for you.” Eren replied, flashing a bright smile at him. The rest of the meal was spent laughing and telling stories both about the present life and the previous—Eren overly amused by one in particular where Levi said he entered—and won—an arm-wrestling competition just to score some rare tea leaves. Time slipped by, seemingly in an instant and Levi was dropping Eren off at his house after sharing a quick kiss in the car.

“What do you wanna do tomorrow?”

“I thought we could just… I don’t know… check out the some of the shops and stuff near the heart of the city—there’s lots of cool places there that sell all kinds of things. And if you’re cool with it, hit up the drive-in afterwards since it’s nearby.”

“I’ve never been to a drive-in, sounds interesting.”

After spending the day walking around what Levi dubbed the ‘hipster part of town,’ the night ended with them passionately making out in the back seat of Levi’s rust-covered Camry in the back of the drive-in lot, having decided that while eight dollars per person was a good deal, making each other’s body heat rise was a lot more entertaining than the movie they’d chosen in the end.

Levi pushed Eren into the fabric of the seat, gently pressing his knee against Eren’s crotch as he nibbled along the strong cords of muscle in his neck—being careful not to leave any visible marks. Quiet pleas for more bubbled up from the back of Eren’s throat, his hands pressing patterns into Levi’s back, slipping under the hem of his shirt to touch his skin. He bit back a moan, relishing the feel of the man’s muscles under his fingers as his hips rocked up against the knee that was wedged there, hissing from how good the friction felt. Eren keened when Levi licked his earlobe, finishing the motion with a teasing bite before whispering if he maybe wanted to ‘try something a little _more_.’

“More… like… what…?”

“If you’re okay with it, a hand job.”

There was a beat of silence and then Eren rocked his hips again and answered, “Touch me. _Please._ ”

Levi leaned in and pressed a kiss to Eren’s lips as he ran a hand down, trailing soft, teasing touches as he went. Deftly, he opened up Eren’s pants, slender fingers reaching in to coax his erect cock out from its confines. A series of whimpers dropped from Eren’s parted lips, his brows furrowing, eyes closed, and his breathing shallow. He whined Levi’s name, his hips trembling from the sensation of fingers fluttering over the engorged flesh, his thighs spreading—seemingly on their own—his body begging for Levi’s gentle touches as words failed him completely.

“Someone’s enjoying himself.” Levi mumbled, pressing more kisses into the juncture of Eren’s shoulder and neck as his fingers closed around Eren’s girth and slowly began to pump, squeezing a bit more towards the head, enjoying the feel of the extra skin he found there. This earned him a muffled cry from Eren, who was reflexively biting at the back of his hand to keep the sounds to a minimum lest someone notice they were up to something and interrupt them. A low chuckle rumbled out of Levi as he continued moving his hand, gradually increasing the speed to a more exciting pace; he was enjoying every single one of Eren’s reactions, having to bite back his own groans every now and then, feeling his own erection as it pressed demandingly against his jeans.

Levi stopped suddenly, which made Eren prop himself up on his elbows trying to peer down at him in the low, flickering light, “Why’d—”

“Can I… rub my cock against yours?” His voice was low, pleading and steady at the same time. “I’m so fucking hard right now.”

“That’s hot…” Eren sighed, “Yeah just—fuck yeah.” He continued to watch his boyfriend in the light the movie was giving off as it played on. Levi sat up a bit, unzipped his jeans and drew out his erection, squeezing it lightly as he did so. Eren let out a soft sound of approval upon seeing it for the first time, noting that it did look somewhat different from his, but it was no less arousing of a sight… Not having thought they’d get this far, Levi hadn’t brought any sort of lube, so he opted for the next best thing and brought his hands up to his lips, coating them liberally with saliva. When he felt there was enough, he pressed their cocks together and enveloped them both with his spit-slicked hands as he experimentally shifted his hips. Eren inhaled sharply only to let it out as an unsteady groan.

Levi moved his hips again, tearing another gasped cry from the man beneath him, responding to Eren’s stifled cries with his own soft grunts as they continued rutting against each out desperately. Levi found that Eren rather liked it when he pushed his cockhead along the vein and at one point Levi even tugged Eren’s foreskin over the tip of his own dick, pumping them both as his head lolled, forehead resting on Eren’s shoulder, panting shallowly.

“It’s… so… good…” Eren managed between breaths, his fingers digging into the seat beneath them as Levi continued doing whatever he could to make them both feel mind-blowingly good and it wasn’t much longer until Eren’s body shivered violently and thick ribbons of come stained Levi’s stomach and hands, his chest heaving from exertion. Levi’s own orgasm came soon after, the thick fluid shooting out in spurts as Eren’s name fell from his lips. Levi slumped backwards in an attempt to avoid soiling his clothing further and tried to regulate his breathing for the next several seconds.

“I—wow.” When Levi finally spoke again, it was hard to choose words. “That was—”

“Fucking amazing?” Eren supplied, sounding both drowsy and content. He leaned up a bit to flash Levi a small, appreciative smile. “I’m glad you came.” His smile widened, indicating that he totally intended the pun.

Levi rolled his eyes, but smirked back nonetheless. “You’re a fucking dork, you know that?”

“I’m _your_ fucking dork,” Eren corrected.

“Heh, I guess you are.”

* * *

Days passed, then weeks since their weekend get together. Eren thought about it a lot—probably more than he should have—and he wondered if Levi thought about it too… if Levi missed him like he missed Levi… if he jerked off while thinking about it—about Eren—about what they’d done in the backseat of his Camry… and about what they could do in the future. Every so often, Eren would send Levi a text message when he was touching himself, but he was too into it to say much of anything so it usually ended up being something vague like **_thinkin bout u ;)_** and he’d leave it at that.

His thoughts sometimes went back to their past, and he remembered several sleepless nights in that musty dungeon, his fingers providing the only relief he could get from his infatuation with the man whose name he’d breathe into his pillow as he touched himself. He’d wondered if Levi did it then—if he had thought of Eren while fucking himself or even other men—surely Levi hadn’t been inexperienced as he was in this. A tinge of jealousy ran through him, but it was quickly dispelled; it’s not like it mattered, anyway. Levi was his now and his past—both this Levi’s past and his previous incarnation’s past—weren’t going to change that.

This was one of those nights; Eren found himself with his face shoved into the pillow in an attempt to muffle his soft moans, his fingers gently gripping his throbbing shaft, stroking it quickly while he fantasized about the things Levi would do to him when he told him he was ready. He smeared the pre-come over the head, tugging his foreskin back and forth, mewling as quietly as he could when he imagined that it was Levi doing all of these things. Idly, he wondered what a blow job would be like—surely Levi would be fucking amazing at those—oh how he wanted to see his dick disappear in between those lips… how he wanted that tongue on him…

His phone vibrated loudly against the surface of his nightstand, drawing a startled yelp from him and he had to blink a few times before he realized what had happened. Grumbling at the interruption, he grabbed the offending device intent on cursing whoever had decided to bother him when he had been so close… but that melted away as soon as he read the text. It was from the very man he’d been thinking about.

**_I want you so bad right now._ **

Desire surged in his chest as he replied,

**_me 2 was just fcking my hand while thnking of u_ **

**_i was imagning u scking me off_ **

**_shovng my dick in ur mouth_ **

**_i got prtty close b4 u txted_ **

He waited impatiently for Levi’s response, languidly stroking himself to keep his dick from softening, wishing he could see Levi’s reaction when he read those texts. In a matter of moments, the phone was buzzing again.

**_Hell yeah. I wanna suck your cock. Hell fucking yeah._ **

**_Next time we see each other, I’ll do it._ **

**_I’ll get on my knees between your legs and slowly drag my tongue over every inch of your cock. Would you like that?_ **

**_Fuck, that’s hot._ **

Eren shivered as he read that, whimpering softly. He squeezed himself, not wanting this to end just yet, typing his response back with one hand.

**_ys pls lick it_ **

**_sck it_ **

**_put ur mouth on it_ **

He hoped Levi wouldn’t mind that his responses were so concise, but it wasn’t exactly easy for him to form proper thoughts, let alone transfer them into text form.

**_I’ll play with your foreskin, too. Get my tongue in there to tease the head…_ **

**_Maybe use my teeth really gently, find out if you like that._ **

**_And when you come, I’ll swallow it all. Milk you dry._ **

That last part of that message caught Eren slightly off guard as a tremble moved through him and he couldn’t hold his orgasm back any longer; he came fairly hard, a choked moan escaping his lips and sounding way too loud in the quietness of his bedroom and he hoped his parents hadn’t heard it, but the warm feeling of afterglow slowly ate away at his paranoia.

**_i just came did u_ **

Miles away, Levi’s hand was flying over his cock as he continued to think about sucking Eren off when he saw his phone light up. The simple message sent a violent shiver through him and he fucked into his hand harder and faster, pressing his thumb into the slit and paying special attention to the sensitive head as he felt himself get closer and closer to what he craved. He trailed his eyes over that little group of letters one more time, biting back a moan as his mind supplied him with the image of Eren’s face, mouth open slightly, eyes screwed shut in concentration as he stroked himself to completion and that was what did him in, Eren’s name dropping from his lips as come dribbled over his fingers. With his clean hand, he tapped back a reply.

**_I need to see you again soon, though._ **

**_We should do a video chat—I miss your stupid face._ **

The next day, Eren dug up his old webcam and connected it to his desktop to make sure it still worked—it did—and sent Levi a text stating as much and asking if he’d be free that night to at least talk. He replied that he was actually off all day and if Eren wanted to they could go ahead and Eren, not wanting to sound too giddy, tried to be cool about it and feigned aloofness.

**_You’re a terrible liar, even via texts… brat._ **

**_I know you want nothing else than to see me._ **

At this, Eren admitted that Levi had hit the nail right on the head.

**_oh & th rents arent around rn so if u want 2_ **

**_we could do thngs_ **

Levi got up from the couch and headed towards his bedroom in the loft-style dorm he shared with Hange, calling back as he went, “Hey shitty glasses… you might wanna leave or get your noise canceling earphones. The brat’s horny.”

“It’s just like you to try to blame it all on him. Don’t act like your dick’s not getting hard.” They drawled, a knowing smile on their lips.

“Since when do you have an interest in the state of my cock?”

“Thankfully, I don’t. In any case, thanks for the heads up. I’m gonna borrow the car and drag Moblit to the movies.” Hange got up and winked at Levi as he disappeared into his room, “Go get ‘em tiger.”

Within minutes he had his laptop booted up and he signed into Skype. As soon as he saw Eren’s handle light up as ‘online’ he initiated the video call and waited for Eren to answer. Eren’s face eventually appeared on his screen and he couldn’t help but smile.

“Hey, brat.”

“Hey, old man.” Eren countered with a toothy grin. “It’s nice seeing your face, even if it’s as harsh as ever.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Levi laughed, flipping Eren off jokingly.

“Mm, patience—we’ll get to that.” The younger man responded with a wiggle of his eyebrows. Levi shook his head muttering something about what a colossal dork Eren was being, and Eren claimed he _only learned from the best._

“How long do you think you’ll be… alone?” Levi asked, not wanting to lose their window of opportunity.

“Dad won’t be home until evening since he’s at work, but there’s really no telling with mom.” Eren shrugged. “She usually doesn’t bother me, though. I locked my door, just in case.” His face was red, but it had little to do with embarrassment.

“You’re cute when you blush. Did you know your ears blush too?” Levi murmured, leaning forward, resting his cheek on his hand. “I can just barely see it on the screen, but it’s there.”

“Yeah I know...” Eren mumbled, looking away. “So um… how do we do this?”

“It’s pretty straight forward.” Levi shrugged, “We talk dirty and jack off.” Eren’s blush deepened, making Levi’s grin widen.

“How do I—”

“You seemed to have a pretty good grasp of dirty talk last night, even though your horrible shorthand almost made me go soft.” There was a beat of silence, “Just… what do you normally think about when you jerk it?”

“You, obviously… I think about how good that night in your car was a lot.”

“Yeah, that was fucking great. We’ll have to do that again sometime.” Levi shifted on his bed, “What else?”

“I also think about things I want to try with you.” The words came out softly, rushed, but Levi was still able to decipher what had been said. He gave Eren a look that sent a shiver through the younger man.

“Oh? Is that so?” His voice was low, “What… kinds of things…?”

“Blow jobs and anal and um…” Eren’s voice faltered, “Other stuff.”

“Other stuff?”

“Not necessarily like… things I wanna _do_ but…” he was struggling to put it into words, “I think about you touching yourself too… I wonder if you think of me, how often you do it, did you do it back then… stuff like that.”

“Look at me.” Levi’s tone was soft but commanding; Eren did as he was told. “In the last week I’ve masturbated almost daily and every time I came, it was your name I was calling.” This information sent a surge through Eren’s body, right to his dick. He bit his lip and let his hand trail down over his crotch.

“Tell me more.”

‘ _Now we’re cooking with gas,_ ’ Levi thought. “Angle your camera so I can see what you’re doing.”

Eren reached up and adjusted it to widen the shot, “Is this better?” He asked, hooking one leg over the arm of his computer chair as his fingers lazily stroked his burgeoning erection through his sweatpants.

“Fuck yeah.” Levi breathed, feeling his own body respond to the sight. “Getting back to what I was saying... yeah. I jerked off back then—I jerked off a lot to thoughts of you.” Eren let out a low whimper, his hips rising up slightly into his own touch.

“God Levi I’m so hard…” Eren sighed, pressing his fingers against the bulge in his pants. “I wish you were here… I want you to suck my dick.”

“All in good time…” Levi replied, shifting again as he adjusted his own camera so Eren could see what he was up to. “Can you see this?” He asked, pushing his shorts down so Eren could see his cock curving proudly upwards, “Look what you’ve done to me…”

“Fuck. That’s so fucking hot.” Eren moaned, following suit and tugging the elastic of his sweatpants down.

“Yeah, show me that beautiful uncut cock…” Levi whispered, “When I give you head, I’m going to take my sweet time playing with all that skin.”

“Like this?” Eren asked as he tugged the foreskin up over the tip, squeezed his fingers around it, and pushed it back down as much as he could and smeared the bit of pre-come that had collected at the slit around with the pad of his thumb.

“ _Oh fuck yes_.” Levi answered, his fingers trailing down for some form of friction as he watched Eren’s display. “I’m gonna suck on it and nibble on it, just you wait. I’m gonna… drive you fucking wild.”

“I can hardly wait.” Eren replied with a sexy smirk that almost made Levi come right then and there. _Almost._

“I swear to high heaven you have no idea how fucking sexy you are.” He muttered, squeezing his fingers around the base of his erection.

“Next time I see you, maybe…” Eren continued, fluttering his fingers along his length as he leaned over, out of the frame. A drawer was heard closing off-camera and he put a small bottle of lube on his desk, completely pulling off his sweatpants and shifting his position before grabbing it again.

“Are you—?”

Eren let a small smile grace his lips as he made a show of squeezing lube onto his fingers, hooking both legs over the arms of his chair to spread his thighs wide and give his boyfriend a good view of what he was about to do. Levi let out a soft whine, his fingers gripping his shaft loosely, stroking slowly as he saw Eren’s slender fingers slowly circle his puckered opening before pressing gently inwards. Eren’s breath hitched, causing Levi to suck in a breath himself and let it out slowly as his hips trembled. Eren pushed his finger in as deeply as he could, wiggling it, a dreamy look plastered on his face as he watched Levi react.

“…Maybe we can play around with this hole…” he mumbled, slowly pulling his finger out and pressing it in again.

“Y-yeah… if you’re ready…” Levi said in a choked voice. He fucked his hand a little harder when Eren started pressing in a second finger, opening himself up teasingly.

“I think I will be… I think I kind of am right _now_.” A soft moan slipped out of his mouth as he continued fingering himself for the webcam. “I wonder what it’d feel like… to have your dick in here…” He added, curling his fingers, pulling them out, pushing them back in. “It’s pretty tight.”

“Christ, I bet it fucking is.” In a deep corner of his mind, Levi wondered if Eren’s sexual confidence was this incarnation’s version of titan shifting, but he was too aroused to really pay much attention to the thought. His cock throbbed in his hand as he continued watching Eren on his laptop screen, now up to three fingers and he didn’t want to hold off the inevitable much longer. “God—yes Eren—keep it up… that’s fucking sexy as hell…” He muttered, stroking himself faster. “Touch your… do you know where—”

As if to answer the unspoken question, Eren angled his hand just right and pressed his fingers into _that_ spot and let out a fairly loud moan when his fingertips grazed over it. “One day it’ll be you… making me feel like this…” Eren’s voice was filled with need, “Talk to me Levi—I need you to help me come…” He continued to finger himself while his other hand wrapped around his pulsing length, his hips working against his fingers as he fucked himself with abandon.

“Jesus fucking Christ you’re so fucking sexy…” Levi sighed, bucking into his fist more fervently than before. “I’m almost—just a little more— _I just want to_ —!”

“Me too… please… just wanna…” Eren’s lips parted and a sound somewhere between a yell and a groan that sounded suspiciously like Levi’s name came out as his hips jolted and he came, the thick liquid shooting out with such force that a few drops of it landed on his neck and chin, the rest splattering on his shirt.

“So close so close _so close—just a little bit—more—_ ” Levi pleaded, his fingers moving quickly over his cock as Eren watched through half-closed eyes, his body beginning to sag as he tried to get his breathing back to normal. With a sharp cry of Eren’s name Levi finally came, his body shuddering as he stroked himself through the orgasm until he couldn’t handle the stimulation anymore and had to stop. His breathing was heavy, but he gave Eren a small smile, “That was—”

A knock on Eren’s door interrupted him. “Eren, honey… _we need to talk_.” Carla’s voice filtered through the door and both of their faces drained.

“Oh shit oh shit… shit… _shit!_ ” Eren hissed in a panicked whisper, trying to clean himself up as best he could. He gave Levi an apologetic look before ending the call and jumping up to change into clothes that weren’t covered in bodily fluids.

“I’ll be waiting in the kitchen.” His mother’s voice filtered through again and he heard her footsteps as she walked away. How long had she been there? How much _had she heard?_ Eren’s mind was a flurry of worried thoughts as hurried to change and make sure he didn’t have evidence of what he’d just been doing in case this wasn’t about _that_ after all and made his way downstairs. He trudged into the kitchen, hands stuffed into the pockets of his pajama bottoms as he tried to look bored.

“What’s up, mom?”

“Is there something you want to tell me?” Carla returned, her back to him as she washed a bowl in the sink.

“I, uh… don’t know?” Eren scratched his head. Carla finished up washing and dried her hands on a dish towel before turning to look at her son. He searched her face for some kind of hint as to where this was going and found only her calm expression; well it couldn’t be _that bad_ , could it? Considering he got his temper from her and saw no hint of anger in her face. She motioned for him to sit at the table. “What’s this about?”

Carla and Eren both sat down on opposite sides of the table and she took a breath. “I just want you to know that… you’re my son and I’ll _always_ love you no matter what.”

“You heard, didn’t you?” Eren’s voice was barely audible, his face red from embarrassment.

“Levi’s… not _just_ a friend, is he?” Carla replied as an answer. Still, he saw nothing negative in her eyes. Eren nodded mutely, not knowing what to say, but decided there was really no point in denying it further.

“Are you disappointed?” he asked meekly, looking down and his hands on the table.

“Why would I be? You’re my son and you’ve found someone who makes you happy. I _can’t_ be disappointed in that.”

“What about dad?”

“We should probably keep this between us.” She admitted, smiling sadly. “But I want you to know that I support you, at least.”

“Thanks, mom.”

* * *

 “So, how are you holding up? What, with having a long-distance boyfriend.” Armin asked brightly as he and Eren played videogames together a few days later. Armin had just gotten off from his shift at the library—he’d gotten a job there for the summer reading to children—and Eren had the day off from his part-time job so they’d decided to play a little co-op.

“It’s not so bad with technology.” Eren admitted, “We do video chats and stuff.”

“And _stuff._ ” Armin practically giggled. Eren frowned.

“Shut _up_ Armin I swear to god you’d do the same if you had a boyfriend!” He shoved his best friend’s shoulder, but was smiling in spite of himself. Eren then reached over and snatched a corn chip from Armin’s bag and popped it into his mouth as recompense.

“Also, how wild is it that he’s Mikasa’s _cousin_? Small world, huh?” Armin added, “Though at least she didn’t wig out.”

“Seriously that was a blessing in disguise.” Eren agreed before he dutifully downed half of a twenty ounce bottle of soda. “Since she basically already knew him, it wasn’t as dramatic as I thought it’d be.”

“That’s good.”

“Speaking of potentially dramatic things—my mom figured out that Levi’s my boyfriend.” Eren added.

“Oh wow, how’d that go? What happened?”

“She uh… heard us doing stuff.” Eren mumbled, “I don’t know how much she heard, but it was enough for her to put two and two together.” Eren sighed, “Plus side, though… she’s being supportive… but even _she_ thinks I shouldn’t tell dad.”

“I never really thought of Grisha being intolerant, but then again I suppose it’s different when it’s your own kid and not your kid’s friend.” Armin said with a shrug. “I’m sure she knows best.”

They continued chatting between in-game missions about all kinds of things, from college admissions and the fact that Eren was still waffling about whether or not he wanted to join the military after all.

“I have to say, I’m with Mikasa. I don’t like the idea of you joining the army.” Armin said quietly, his fingers furiously mashing buttons as he shot at enemy combatants on the high definition screen. Eren’s character covered him, sniping from a distance.

“Everyone says the same thing. I’m still not sure… I just… I dunno. It’s one of those things. It just _feels_ like I should.” _I was in the army back then, too._ He added mentally. It almost felt like it was part of him to be a soldier, but he didn’t want to bring up the past with anyone who didn’t _get_ it. Not anymore. Not now that he had Levi… and an idea dawned on him. “I should see what Levi thinks.”

“That’s actually a good idea, coming from you.”

“Hey! I resent that!”

“Resent it all you want, but you rarely have good ideas, Eren.” Armin jeered good-naturedly, sticking out his tongue.

“Harsh.” Eren laughed. “But yeah, I’ll see what he thinks.”

They played for a couple more hours before Armin left to have dinner with his family. Eren pondered what they’d talked about regarding the military and wondered what Levi would think. Both Armin and Mikasa didn’t like the idea and he knew his mother wasn’t keen on it either—not that he blamed her—he was relatively certain no good mother would _want_ their children shipping off to war, no matter what era it was.

He wasn’t exactly sure how his father felt about it aside from him often telling his mother that he probably wouldn’t learn unless he experienced true hardships himself… though in his own way, he was probably slightly disappointed that Eren wasn’t interested in pursuing medicine. Even if he had insisted that he could always join the military as a medic and that it’d help pay for medical school… he was sure his father could tell he wasn’t terribly interested in becoming a doctor.

This life was happy enough, sure, but it was different in the sense that at least with the world full of titans trying to devour humankind, he’d always had a sense of what needed to be done and what he needed to become.

His goals back then had come so easily. Be free. See the outside world. Join the Survey Corps. Get revenge. Kill all the titans—every last one.

This time around, it was like he was standing at the precipice of an abyss and he had no clue what to do about it or who to be. Monsters still existed and, just as he’d come to find back then, they often wore the disguise of being human… but he didn’t have the same drive to eradicate them. Humanity’s size was considerably larger… overlarge, even. So he defaulted on seeing the world, but he wasn’t sure if he had the academic skills to go about it like Armin, and that’s why he figured the military would be his best bet.

He finally had a life outside of physical walls only to be trapped by societal standards that said he should go to college or learn some sort of trade and work for the rest of his life in pursuit of some flimsy idea called ‘happiness’ that would always be just out of reach… but before he managed to completely depress himself, Levi’s ringtone sounded and he scrambled to answer his cell.

“Hey. How’s your day been? Have fun playing games with the mushroom?” Levi’s voice greeted him and Eren smiled even though he knew Levi couldn’t see him.

“Yeah, I did.”

“Is something up? You sound… off.”

“I was just… thinking about the future. Should I go to college? Should I join the military?” Eren replied honestly. “I’ve got my whole life ahead of me and I have no idea what I wanna do and I just… well, I just don’t know.”

“Eren _._ It’s okay. I’m twenty-eight years old and to be completely honest, I _still_ have no idea what I want, really. I know I’m _supposed_ to want a white picket fence and a nice car and a good job and kids and all that shit, but when I think about it too hard I just wonder—why can’t I just be some hippie backpacking cross-country? I mean, I know why I won’t do it—the memory of not knowing where my next meal will come from is still too fresh in my mind thank you very much—but I don’t really think I want the so-called American dream either, you know? It’s different in peacetime.”

“Exactly! We’re still… trapped. Even if the walls aren’t physical, they’re still _there._ ”

“There’s only one thing I’m definitely sure about wanting because I’ve always wanted it.” Levi added softly; Eren blinked.

“What’s that?”

“To be with you… I want to make up for what we couldn’t have at that time. And honestly, the whole world can go to shit around me, but I think that—that as long as I have you in my life… I’ll be okay.”

“Are you—you’re—” Eren gulped, “Are you saying what I _think_ you’re saying?”

“I think I’ll save the actual words for the next time we’re together in person, but yeah, you’re probably on the right train of thought.” Levi answered and Eren could hear the smirk in his voice. Eren all but squealed into the phone, not knowing how else to deal with this information. “Holy shit, calm down. You sound like a teenage girl who just found out she won tickets to her favorite boy band’s concert.”

“I can’t help it!”

“In any case, do you want my opinion or what?”

“I mean, I remember your speech about not having regrets and about how we never know… it’s gotten me through a lot, actually.”

“I guess even some thug ass shithead like me said wise things every now and again.” Levi laughed, “I was a role model and didn’t even deserve to be… but—and this is probably me being selfish—but I’d honestly prefer if you didn’t… join the military.”

“Ah, okay.” Eren couldn’t say he was surprised.

“I mean, it’s selfish because yeah, I want you to be safe and I don’t want to have to worry about you that much if you get shipped off but also… you did your part. Honestly? I think you did more than enough. I’m not sure about the circumstances of our deaths back then… but considering humanity has _more_ than bounced back, I think it’s safe to say we triumphed… somehow.”

“So I should take it easy this time?”

“Yeah, basically—that’s my view on the matter, at least. I’ve already done my part and helped save humanity, let me leave it to someone else this time and focus on me… and now, you.” He paused to let that sink in. “I promise, Eren. No one has all the answers. They’re just pretending that they do.”

“That’s oddly comforting, actually,” Eren said, “Thanks.”

“And now, for the reason I called… are you free next weekend?”

* * *

The weekend when Eren would get to see Levi again in person could not arrive soon enough… and Eren was practically a ball of nerves the whole time leading up to it. He was excited to be seeing him again, but also nervous—so much could happen this time. They’d talked about other tourist spots they could visit, but if Eren was to be completely honest, he wouldn’t have minded just spending the entire weekend in Levi’s hotel room doing the things he’d only seen in the darkest corners of the internet that he was willing to go to.

Quite a few days before he would see Levi again, Eren found himself asking his best friend one of the most intimate favors he never thought he’d need to ask—to please drive him to an adult novelty shop. It was at times like these that he really hated not having his own car.

“You can just drop me off or something.” He said, sitting in the passenger side.

“You know, Eren… this wasn’t what I was expecting when you said you needed a ride to the store to buy some things,” Armin said, blue eyes on the road as he drove. “Not that I _mind_...”

“I thought about buying stuff online but what if my dad opened the package? I don’t think I wanna find out what he’d say if that happened.” Eren mumbled, bouncing his legs absently.

“Yikes, good point.” Armin agreed, turning into the parking lot of a single-story building with blackened windows that boasted _the best selection of adult entertainment in town._ Neon lights hung in the windows bent into the stylized silhouettes of female figures in compromising poses and triple X’s, flashing obscenely against the glass. Eren let out a sigh.

“Well, here goes nothing.” He said, climbing out of the van. “I’ll uh… text you when I’m done?”

“Actually, why don’t I go with you? I could provide… I don’t know, moral support or something.”

They walked in the door and found a doorman sitting there asking for identification as they entered and they flashed their IDs to prove that they were in fact old enough to be there. The doorman nodded them inside and as their eyes adjusted to the dim lighting and the two of them slowly wandered among the aisles looking at the selection of videos with ridiculous titles and giggling softly to themselves and Eren decided that it didn’t matter how old you were, a film titled ‘ _Swim Meat_ ’ was too hilarious not to snicker at.

As the two young men made their way to where several toys were displayed they were approached by a sales attendant who asked if they needed any help. Eren smiled awkwardly at her and shook his head ‘no’ to which she responded with the usual “Let me know if you need help with anything,” before walking back to the checkout counter.

After several minutes of deliberation and looking at lots of different options, Eren finally decided on a fairly average sized dong that boasted a _real feel_ texture and had a suction cup on the back. He figured it looked to be about the same size as Levi. He took his selection to the counter to pay for it, deciding to also grab another bottle of lube while he was there. They finished up the transaction and exited the store, black bag in hand and heart hammering in his chest as they got back into the van and drove away. When Armin stopped outside of Eren’s house, the brunet turned to him with a smile.

“Er, thanks Armin… for this… _adventure_.”

“What else are best friends for?” Armin replied, waving him off.

When Eren entered the house, he decided that this was one of those times he was glad it was a split level and that the stairs were just inside the door. He could hear his mother bustling about in the kitchen, probably working on dinner so he quietly closed the door and ran upstairs to his bedroom as quietly and quickly as he could, stashing the black bag under a pile of dirty clothes for now, and went downstairs to greet his mother as if he hadn’t just sneaked a newly purchased sex toy into his room.

Just because she knew about his boyfriend didn’t mean she needed to know about _this._

* * *

It wasn’t until after dinner that Eren got a moment to himself in the form of a shower. As he made his way to the bathroom with his recent purchases tucked between the folds of his towel and change of clothes, he listened and exhaled a sigh of relief when he heard that his parents were still watching television in the living room. They’d probably be distracted for a while longer—surely long enough for him to try out his new acquisition.

Once inside the bathroom, he locked the door and turned on the water to begin warming it up as he shed his clothes and dropped them in the hamper. His heart thudded in his chest as he fished the dildo and the lube out from within the towel, a little anxious with anticipation. He’d tried to get one that looked as close to Levi’s dick as he remembered, and while it wasn’t much bigger than his own, it still seemed like it’d be a tight fit elsewhere…

Eren swallowed, letting desire and curiosity take over to fuel his determination and climbed into the shower. He stuck it low on the wall and got on his knees. The water falling down on him was hot and doing little to help his current state of arousal as he imagined that Levi was there with him now, pretending his husky voice was whispering filthy things to him as he trailed a hand back to stretch himself.

Eren wasted no time, slipping one, two, three and eventually four fingers into his body to prepare himself for the next step; he bit his lip to stifle his moans, his dick throbbing as it bobbed, neglected between his legs. A few moments later, the brunet decided it was time to stop stalling and after he made sure to put a decent amount of lube on the dildo he’d affixed to the shower wall, he slowly crawled backwards on his hands and knees until the tip brushed over his entrance.

He took a deep breath and exhaled it, easing himself back onto it slowly. There was a slight burning sensation, but nothing worse than the first time he’d tried putting his fingers inside himself. He pushed back further, rather enjoying the feeling of being filled, letting out a breathless groan. It wasn’t long before he had the entire thing stuffed inside, his breathing getting heavy. If he could take this, he figured he’d be more than ready for the real thing.

That was when he began to move. Slowly at first, Eren rocked his hips against the intrusion and gasped at the feeling of it; it was foreign and he wasn’t sure if it felt good just yet, but it didn’t feel _bad_ either… so he moved again, this time a little harder in an attempt to emulate what it might be like when it was Levi doing the thrusting. As he moved faster and harder, rocking his hips back onto the toy with as much force as he dared use—he didn’t want it to come off the wall, after all—he noticed that the way it felt gliding in and out of him was starting to feel a lot better.

“Mm, Levi…” He whispered, not daring to be any louder if he could help it. As he continued to fuck himself on it he slid a hand down his torso, fingers trailing lightly over his abdomen and brushing teasingly over the coarse hair at the base of his erection, his skin slippery from the water of the shower. He had to bite back a moan when he tunneled his fingers around the shaft and moved again, rocking back onto the dong and then back into his hand.

Eren wasn’t sure how much longer he’d last like this, his mouth open as he sighed, trying to keep as quiet as possible—but _holy fucking shit—_ this was a lot more intense than anything he’d ever done solo before. Unable to stop himself now, Eren kept thrusting backwards, his hips moving seemingly on their own. He shifted slightly so he was only on his knees, freeing up his other hand and the change in angle made all the difference in the world. The head of the dildo hit him in a way that made his body sing and it was all he could do _not_ to scream from the sheer pleasure of it.

He felt the pressure building at the pit of his stomach, his hips beginning to twitch the closer he got. Whispered begging of _please_ and _I want to come_ became something of a chant, his eyes clenched shut in desperate concentration. The heat of the water no longer seemed that hot against his flushed skin and he wasn’t really sure if it was because he’d used up the hot water or because his temperature had risen that much and, to be honest, he didn’t give a single fuck about anything but how good his body felt right that second.

A choked cry managed to escape him when he finally came, his body shuddering erratically. He stayed pushed back, filled to the brim for a moment, not wanting to pull off just yet and tried to get his breathing under control. When he did slide the dildo out of his ass, he slumped on the shower floor, trying to collect himself. If letting Levi fuck him was even a tiny bit better than what he’d just done, _god._ He was _so fucking ready._

* * *

With less than a few days before Levi’s visit, Eren made it a point to ‘practice’ as many times as he could. He told himself he wanted to be as prepared as possible for anything the two of them might do, and while that was true… if he were to be completely honest with himself, he just couldn’t get enough of his new toy; a part of him felt like he should be ashamed of this fact, but another part—a much bigger part—felt like he should have bought one of these things ages ago.

Friday finally arrived and Eren was ready and waiting for Levi when he pulled into the driveway of his parents’ townhouse, wearing boot cut jeans and a loose green t-shirt promoting his favorite soft drink. He had a duffel bag with things he thought he’d need by his side. He had never been happier to see the rust covered mess of a Camry Levi drove, and after grabbing his bag, Eren bounced down the steps as soon as Levi parked the car, flashing a huge grin at the black-haired man as he took a seat in the passenger’s side before he could even get out.

“Well, good morning to you, too.” Levi said, his eyebrows arched up in mild surprise at Eren’s giddiness. “You’re certainly… chipper.”

“Why wouldn’t I be? You’re here!” Came the reply, attached to the most brilliant smile Levi had seen in a while; it made his heart melt and he couldn’t help but lean over and softly press his lips against Eren’s.

 “Let’s go check into the hotel, then.” He said, putting the car in reverse as he backed out to leave the neighborhood.

The hotel wasn’t the same as the last one he’d stayed in— _that_ had been a crummy motel and Levi had grumbled that he’d left his room a million times cleaner than how he’d found it—it was a few exits farther, but it looked much newer and not nearly as ratty. While Levi took care of things at the desk, Eren found his eyes wandering the lobby’s décor, pausing on a large screen with a weather report and listings of local events plastered on it for a few moments until Levi snapped him out of his musings by tapping his shoulder.

“Hey, space case. Let’s go.”

“Dude, the eighties called. They want their slang back,” Eren teased, dodging Levi’s elbow as he laughed and followed him up to the room.

As soon as they were inside their room and the door clicked closed, Levi grabbed the front of Eren’s shirt and pulled him into a passionate kiss. Eren blinked for a few seconds, his brain not having registered the Levi’s quick movements until his lips crashed against his, but when it finally caught up Eren returned the fervency tenfold. They made their way to the queen sized bed, refusing to end the kiss, fingers trailing over each other’s bodies in teasing trails. Levi pulled Eren onto the bed on top of him, wrapping his arms around the brunet’s shoulders, his hips rolling up reflexively. This caused Eren to gasp, and he pulled back for a moment, looking down at Levi’s reddened lips as he breathed heavily.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he sighed, brushing his thumb over Levi’s cheek. They kissed again, soft moans and heavy breaths filling the room. Levi rolled them over, straddling Eren’s hips as he halted the kisses for a moment, pulling his shirt off and tossing it onto the floor. Eren took in the sight, humming appreciatively at Levi’s toned physique. Eren’s hands trailed over Levi’s hips, grabbing his ass and giving it a light squeeze through his jeans.

“I—I’m ready.” Eren said, “I want you… I want you _inside_ me.” His cheeks flushed with desire when he said it. Levi’s eyes softened, a small smile forming on his lips.

“If you decide that you’re not, we can stop at any time.” He said, “I don’t want to hurt you. I—I love you.”

“I know. I love you too.” Eren responded, “I’ve… loved you since—”

Levi’s lips cut him off and they kissed again, sloppy and needy and a lot more awkward than porn films made it look, but neither cared. They were too ramped up on their emotions, much more interested in the little noises they could force out of each other than anything else. When they came up for air again, Levi spoke.

“But first, I do believe I promised to give you head.”

“ _Fuck yes._ ”

Levi grinned down at him, repositioning himself so that his face was just above where it needed to be. His eyes flicked up to meet Eren’s in a heated stare, rubbing his cheek sensuously over the bulge that had already formed. He mouthed at it, pressing his nose into the harsh denim fabric, “Mm, look how hard you are and it’s all for me…” He said, his fingers finding and tugging down on the zipper pull. He pushed the pants down enough, exposing the thin fabric of Eren’s underwear as it strained to contain his erection. Levi pressed open mouthed kisses along it, teasing him through the boxers as Eren leaned up on his elbows, nearly breathless.

“Suck it… _please._ ” He pleaded, and Levi was more than happy to oblige. He hooked his fingers under the waistband, dragging it down and freeing Eren’s erect cock. Levi locked eyes with him, making it a point to lick his lips before pressing a soft kiss to the tip. Eren let out a shaky moan that could have been Levi’s name. His fingers gripped the comforter beneath him and he spread his thighs to offer Levi more access. He wrapped his fingers loosely around Eren’s cock, pumping it a few times before he angled it to expose the vein so that he could trail wet kisses along its length.

He kissed at the head again, pressing the tip of his tongue in between the foreskin and the glans, ripping a rather loud cry from Eren, who began whining for more— _god yes—_ more of _that_. At this, Levi took in the head of Eren’s cock, grazing him ever so gently with his teeth, causing him to suck in a breath that he later let out in the form of a low groan. Having teased Eren enough, Levi locked eyes with him one more time, making sure he was watching as he took more of his length into his mouth.

Eren’s breathing was shaky and labored as he watched his dick disappear into Levi’s mouth, soft moans and gasps begging for more tumbling from his open mouth. He keened when the tip of his erection brushed against the back of Levi’s throat, feeling the muscles move around him and— _Christ almighty_ —that was when Levi actually started _sucking._

“Oh _god… oh **god** …_” Eren sighed, flexing his fingers into the sheets, his hips stuttering as shivers ran through his body. His mantra continued as Levi began to move, bobbing his head back and forth, sucking, tugging Eren’s foreskin, teasing him with his tongue and Eren wasn’t really sure how long he’d be able to last because this was probably the best his dick had _ever_ felt and _Jesus fucking Christ whatever Levi had just done with his teeth was incredible_. The brunet whimpered, his eyes clenched shut as the sensations overtook him, mouth hanging open as all kinds of pleas and cries filled the air. It wasn’t long at all before he felt himself getting close, his moans becoming more urgent. His hands shifted, grabbing at Levi’s head rather than the bedspread.

“Levi, I’m gonna—” was all he managed before he released with a high-pitched moan… and true to his word, Levi swallowed it. He pulled back, sitting on his haunches as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He smirked down at Eren, who was still trying to normalize his breathing.

“Was it better than you imagined?” Levi asked; all Eren could do was nod his reply. “I’ll give you a few minutes to gather your wits before we continue… unless you want to stop?” Eren shook his head.

“Want you… to feel good… too…” he managed. “Still want to… do it…”

“You don’t have to feel obligated, you know. I can wait.”

“I thought you said you… were living for you this time… it’s okay, I swear. I—I want you inside me. I’ve been... practicing.” Levi’s eyes widened slightly at this revelation.

“Have you, now?”

“I bought a… toy… do you have any idea how paranoid I am that my parents will find that thing? But I wanted to be prepared...” Eren’s answer was honest, bare.

“I don’t think you realize how fucking hot it is that you admitted that to me,” Levi rasped, low and hungry. He leaned down and kissed Eren’s forehead and stood, pulling the brunet into a sitting position. Levi tossed him a small travel bag, “Clean yourself up… take a shit if you need to.”

* * *

A few moments later, Eren came out of the bathroom wearing nothing only to find Levi sprawled on the bed, also completely naked save for the sheet that was draped loosely over his hips. Levi wiggled his eyebrows at Eren, who burst out laughing at the ridiculousness of this situation.

“I have to admit, I’m glad you’re so laid-back this time around.” Eren said, making his way to the bed.

“It’s amazing how many things change when titans aren’t around to destroy everything I hold dear.” Levi replied, shrugging. “I think it helps that I remember that life, though. I’ve… kind of made it a point to be a little less reserved.” Eren hummed affirmatively and crawled onto the bed with him, pushing him down so he could straddle him and press a kiss against his lips.

“How… should we…” he whispered against Levi’s lips.

“As I’m sure you know, there’s entire books devoted to positions… so it all comes down to what _you_ want.”

“I dunno, what’d be the best angle for you to fuck me senseless?” Eren said, the innocent tone of his voice marred by the filthy words that he spoke. Levi felt his body respond to this and chuckled at him.

“You little shit…” he murmured as he pulled Eren down for more kisses before rolling them both over so that Eren was beneath him. The sheet slid off revealing the rest of Levi’s nude body and Eren drank it in now that there was proper lighting—every dip and curve and ripple of muscle—Levi looked so utterly perfect to him. Eren’s eyes trailed down past his abs, following the thin trail of hair that started just under his belly button to the base of his cock and he smiled appreciatively as his eyes traveled along Levi’s length.

“You’re so fucking sexy.” He sighed, wrapping his fingers around Levi’s hips, kneading his skin lightly. Their erections touched lightly and Eren sucked in a breath, his hips grinding up for more friction. “I’m more than ready…”

As soon as he heard those words, Levi reached over to the nightstand and grabbed the lube, squeezing a generous amount onto his fingers before setting the bottle back down. He leaned down to kiss Eren while he pressed his first finger slowly into Eren’s ass to begin the process of stretching him. Eren spread his thighs reflexively, his hips rising up to give the man better access. Levi swallowed Eren’s soft moans and wiggled his finger inside him, smirking against his lips when he felt a slight shiver run through the body beneath him. After a few moments, he introduced a second finger, pressing them inside and spreading them while enjoying Eren’s reactions. He nipped along Eren’s neck and collar bones as he worked the two fingers inside him, curling them, pushing them in and out. Eren’s breathing became breathy as he continued and he keened when a third finger was added.

“Levi… please… I want your dick…” Eren begged, his hips rocking into the sensations. “Th-that’s enough prep so hurry… and fuck me already…”

Eren’s plea sent a surge of desire through Levi’s body and he bit Eren’s shoulder lightly, growling into the moistened skin. He sat up and kissed Eren again, grabbing the lube and a condom packet from the nightstand. He got himself ready and hooked Eren’s legs over his shoulders, lining himself up with Eren’s entrance and began to push in. “Oh god yes…” He hissed as he continued to gently press inside, “You feel fucking amazing.”

“This is… so much better than…” Eren tried, breathlessly. He wrapped his arms around Levi’s shoulders, fingers digging into his muscles as he reacted to being filled. Levi’s cock was hot, and he could feel it pulsing slightly, and good lord that alone was already better than fucking himself on a lifeless toy.

It wasn’t long before Levi was completely inside him; he waited for Eren to give him some sort of sign to move and when he shifted his hips under him with soft pleas for him to _do something_ , Levi was more than happy to comply. He drew his length out and pushed it back in at a slow pace, biting his lip at the sensation of Eren’s body enveloping him. He did it again and again, keeping the speed slow for a few more thrusts until Eren was pleading with him for _harder_ and _faster_.

“Mm, aren’t you bossy…” Levi mumbled, increasing his speed minutely.

“Goddamn it, Levi…!” Eren gasped out, trying to move with him. “I need you to fuck me like you _mean it._ ”  It was so different than the times he’d fingered himself or used the dildo; Levi’s hands roamed over him, caressing him, heightening the experience.

“You always were an impatient brat…” Levi mumbled, but decided to give in to Eren’s demands anyway. He shifted slightly so that he could use his legs to thrust deeper into the willing body beneath his and set a faster pace, hips slamming together with an almost brutal force—which Eren seemed to more than enjoy if his cries of sheer pleasure were anything to go by. The way Levi thrust his hips was much rougher than anything Eren could accomplish on his own, and he was loving the feeling of being thoroughly fucked.

“Fuck—it’s so good—you’re so deep—” Eren moaned with his head thrown back and back arched, fingers scrabbling over Levi’s sweaty shoulders. Levi gasped along with him, black fringe falling into his face as he thrust into Eren repeatedly. He changed his angle experimentally, trying to see if he could reach—

“Oh god, _there—there!!”_  Eren’s cry let Levi know he’d found exactly what he was looking for as he proceeded to pound into it mercilessly. It didn’t take too much longer for the heat in his lower belly to wind itself up and release, his cock pulsing inside Eren’s ass as he came with a shout. Eren came a second time, mere moments later, making a bit of a mess on his own stomach. They stayed still for a while, lungs working overtime to suck in oxygen while a euphoric haze settled over them both.

After a few moments, Levi drew himself out of Eren, pulled the used condom off carefully and disposed of it before he flopped back down on the bed beside his lover. They lay like that for several minutes, Eren groping around for Levi’s hand, grabbing it with his and threading their fingers together. Levi smirked, turning his head to look at him and met his eyes as he mouthed _I love you._

* * *

Later that night the two of them sat on the hood of Levi’s car in an abandoned lot looking up at the starry night sky, the soothing sounds of crickets and cicadas filling the air around them as they enjoyed each other’s company.

“You know, I’ve been thinking about what you said on the phone that time—about making up for what we couldn’t have…”

“Yeah?”

“I’d like that.” Eren squeezed Levi’s hand, “I hope that we’re together forever—in every lifetime from here on out.”

“Me too.” Levi agreed with a soft smile, squeezing Eren’s hand back in return. “Me too.”

**Author's Note:**

> If the ending seems rushed... sorry. I've been working on this thing since February and I'm just tired of trying to figure out how else to end it; I mean, the main goal was met early on- for Eren and Levi to meet while cosplaying- so the rest of it's just fluff and smut for fun and idk it got a little out of hand, haha. In any case, hope you enjoyed it. 
> 
> [Feel free to follow me on tumblr.](http://kiokushitaka.tumblr.com)


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